better with age: October 2019

This month San Francisco Department of Aging & Adult Services launched its End Ageism campaign to reframe how we talk about aging and older adults, with a website EndAgeism.com. The campaign website features five older San Franciscans’ eyes with crow’s feet juxtaposed on (younger) smooth faces, identified by traits that “never gets old”: Passion, Leadership, Creativity, Courage, and Intelligence. It invites us, “We all have strengths that stay with us throughout our lives. Click here to see the stories behind the eyes.” When I clicked on the faces, the men’s jaws changed shape from square to pointed! What gives? Did they get facelift dentistry? After this brief distraction, I read their stories describing what they do (volunteer) but missing their thoughts.

In contrast, Ashby Village’s 2017 Reframing Aging photo exhibit https://www.ashbyvillagegallery.org/, displayed photographs of its members at younger age with current age and their own quoted thoughts plus bio. Its website says of its featured 12 members: “None of them spend much time looking back—they’re looking ahead with enthusiasm, curiosity, and optimism.” For example, 93-year-old Jeanne Bamberger (described as having "energy and intellectual engagement of someone half her age") mused: “I used to say, when I wake up in the morning, I have to decide who I am. These days, it’s more like I have to decide if I am!”

Storyteller Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie warned against the danger of a single story: “show a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.” But is Reframing Aging coddling old age (as in “The Coddling of the American Mind”) by filtering out the perceived negative (frailty, vulnerability) in favor of the “the more positive story” dumbing down the diversity of older adult experiences?

“Our senior years are evidently a time to celebrate ourselves and the wonderful things to come: travelling, volunteering, canoodling, acquiring new skills, and so on. No one, it seems, wants to disparage old age. …we get such cheerful tidings …meant to reassure us that getting old just means that we have to work harder at staying young…

At the moment, we seem to be compensating for past transgressions: far from devaluing old age, we assign it value it may not possess. Yes, we should live as long as possible, barring illness and infirmity, but, when it comes to the depredations of age, let’s not lose candor along with muscle tone. The goal, you could say, is to live long enough to think: I’ve lived long enough.

…The years may broaden experience and tint perspective, but is wisdom or contentment certain to follow?

A contented old age probably depends on what we were like before we became old. Vain, self-centered people will likely find aging less tolerable than those who seek meaning in life by helping others. And those fortunate enough to have lived a full and productive life may exit without undue regret.

…just about every book on the subject advocates a “positive” attitude toward aging in order to maintain a sense of satisfaction and to achieve a measure of wisdom. And yet it seems to me that a person can be both wise and unhappy, wise and regretful, and even wise and dubious about the wisdom of growing old.”

—Arthur Krystal, “Why we can’t tell the truth about aging,” The New Yorker, Oct. 28, 2019

Last year, I expressed concern about Reframing Aging's campaign strategy to “avoid discussing or showing older people as ‘vulnerable’” and place greater emphasis on the “more positive story of aging, too.” Can we reframe vulnerable as a strength? After all, being vulnerable makes us more human, and can teach us to develop Humility along with Appreciation, Endurance, Generosity, Humor, Integrity, Justice, Kindness, Patience, Respect—desirable traits at any age. Instead of just focusing on "strengths that stay with us," let’s pay attention to our potential for developing these traits as we grow older and help end ageism.

“we see canes and other assistive devices of older age in the same way we see the tricycles and training wheels of youth: as tools that support our independence and freedom to move about rather than as visible representations of loss…

How can I prepare to live my best life as I age? Rethinking my perception of canes and walkers and even wheelchairs is a start. First, the personal reframing: Now, when I see someone using an assistive device, I think, “Go you. You are out and about and active in the world.” Second, the professional: I am committed to keeping the pendulum from swinging so far toward images of older adults who are free of obvious physical disabilities that we unintentionally “otherize” frail older people by taking them out of the picture… we also need to continue reflecting on all the realities of what it means to age…and representing the diversity of older people in the images we choose…so we do not unintentionally create a future where we cannot see the most vulnerable and the most frail because we have cropped them out of the frame”—Nancy E. Lundebjerg, “When it comes to images, let's not crop frail older adults out of the frame,” Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, Sep. 4, 2019

“OK boomer”

"The phrase is a culmination of annoyance and frustration at a generation young people perceive to be worsening issues like climate change, political polarization and economic hardship …The rise of the phrase “OK boomer” mirrors the growing anger among young people at the older generation’s passivity for the issues facing the world, not only today, but for the issues that young people say will be left to them to figure out once they become adults."—Kalhan Rosenblatt, “Teens use 'OK boomer' to fire back at older generations' criticisms,” NBC News, Oct. 29, 2019

What is our future with septuagenarian boomers like Senator Elizabeth Warren (age 70) and incumbent President “The Donald” Trump (age 73) as leading candidates for President in 2020? Shall we skip the boomers in favor of Traditionalist (“Lucky Few”) candidates like Senator Bernie Sanders (age 78) and former VP Joe Biden (age 76)?

Because older adults are known to vote at high rates, they are an important voter demographic to candidates. Yet, senior interests are not monolithic, especially as our aging society is becoming more diverse—racially/ethnically with increasing income inequality, and living longer with disabilities. In San Francisco, older adults (age 60+) make up 23% of the City’s population: 43% identify as Asian/Pacific Islander, 40% White, 10% Latino, and 6% Black. 14% of San Francisco older adults live below the federal poverty level, and nearly 30% live alone.

This month, Senior & Disability Action (SDA) hosted a Local Election Candidates Forum, inviting candidates for District 5 and District Attorney. As usual, politicians said anything to get elected, pandering to what they thought older voters wanted to hear.

Democratic Socialist tenant lawyer Dean Preston and Democrat incumbent Vallie Brown are frontrunner candidates for District 5 (covering Haight-Ashbury, Hayes Valley, Fillmore/Western Addition, Japantown, etc.), which has an older adult (age 60+) population of 15,309 representing 18.2% of the district. Vallie tarnished her reputation when news broke that she did an owner move-in eviction against long-term, low-income African American tenants 25 years ago, and lied about a tenant’s failure to pay rent until her 69-year-old former tenant came forward with rent receipts.

When SDA asked non-partisan candidates for District Attorney (DA) about their priorities, it seemed disingenuous to hear each candidate declare elder abuse. Deputy DA Nancy Tung and interim DA Suzy Loftus are career prosecutors with tough on crime platforms. Deputy Attorney General Leif Dautch talked about “transformative justice”; his website mentions confronting hate crimes “particularly against our Latino, Muslim, Jewish, and LGBTQ communities”—but what about Blacks? Chinese seniors?

Public defender Chesa Boudin, whose 75-year-old father remains incarcerated for a 1981 armored car robbery that murdered two policemen and a security guard, spoke passionately about criminal justice reform like addressing the underlying causes of crime by “replacing jail with mental health care.” Afterwards, I decided to visit his campaign website: Chesa Boudin for SF District Attorney video reminded me of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's The Courage to Change video as he dresses up for work, steps out to take public transit … talks about equity and inclusion, but shows only one old person with white beard? Why are images of old people absent from his campaign website?

Intersectionality

What is the impact of ageism on cultural identities such as sex/gender and race/ethnicity, or intersectionality with patriarchy and white privilege? Are female racial/ethnic minorities in old age further marginalized and rendered invisible by dominant society?

At Tenderloin Museum, Magic Theatre presented a special matinee performance of The Chinese Lady, a witty play about the first Chinese female brought to the U.S. in 1834, by American merchants who put her “otherness” on display to market imported Chinese goods. For the price of 25 cents for adults and 10 cents for children, curious visitors could gawk at 14-year-old Afong Moy, whose life became a performance as she was a representative of the Chinese Lady: “1^st lady of the Orient in America,” highlighting her exotic and foreign features, dressed in Chinese costume, her tiny bound feet walking around a room filled with Chinese furniture, using chopsticks to eat Chinese vegetables and shrimp from a rice bowl, pouring and drinking tea in a ritualistic way, etc. How much of her performance was really her, or what was expected?

Afong was aided by her skeptical man-servant interpreter Atung, whom she called “irrelevant.” In her own yearning to be relevant, optimistic Afong reframed her role as “ambassador” to share Chinese culture and promote world peace, embarking on a tour of the eastern U.S. and met President Andrew Jackson, etc. After two years of experience, her price went up to 50 cents for adults and 25 cents for children. At age 17, Afong presaged that she would be “more and more old … inevitable that people will stop looking at me.” At age 29, Afong had a new employer P.T. Barnum, part of a larger show, crowds were lighter as Chinese were more common in the U.S. in 1849.

At age 44, Afong was “replaced, betrayed, discarded”—retired from the entertainment business—made “irrelevant.” Years roll on, as Afong recited acts against Chinese, such as Chinese Exclusion in 1882, its renewal in 1892, made permanent in 1902, etc.
In 2019, 199-year-old Afong tells the audience that indulging in the past is “all that is left of me”—as she shares her life review to make herself relevant to the present. She walks in a circle, where she began with endless possibilities, hope, empathy—asking the audience to really look at each other for what’s true and real, to see long enough to be understood.

Post-show discussion with Will Dao, who played both self-effacing Atung (less known about his character than Afong Moy) and arrogant President Andrew Jackson (best known as face on $20 bill and for his racist 1830 Indian Removal Act to open lands for slave plantations).

Attendee (seated in front row) claimed her late husband was descendant from Afong Moy’s family in China.

Will Dao (Atung) with Rinabeth Apostol (Afong Moy), who gets kudos for memorizing Lloyd Suh’s script in The Chinese Lady's 90-minute performance—explaining her story from age 14 to 199, aging in place (appearing age-less, almost like The Age of Adaline) on stage!

At SF Main Library, Arthur Dong introduced his new book, Hollywood Chinese: The Chinese in American Feature Films, 12 years after his Hollywood Chinese documentary. Back of his book features portrait of Anna May Wong (1905-1961), first Chinese-American Hollywood star, one year prior to her death at age 56 from heart attack and before filming Flower Drum Song musical. Due to anti-miscegenation laws and lack of Asian leading men at the time, she mostly played exotic roles, losing role of The Good Earth’s Chinese peasant O-Lan, which went to Jewish actress Luise Rainer who won 1937 Best Actress Oscar for her portrayal of the subservient wife to farmer Wang, played by Jewish actor Paul Muni.

Journalist Ben Fong-Torres, subject of his own upcoming documentary Like a Rolling Stone, interviewed Arthur Dong.

Intergenerational connections

EndAgeism suggests actions (presumably directed at relatively non-older people?) like:

· “Spend time with older people: …Reach out to older colleagues and neighbors. Call older friends and relatives.”

· “Avoid ageist comments and jokes”… Ashton Applewhite, former equal opportunity offender of Truly Tasteless Jokes book series (circa 1980s) and featured in 2018 documentary, Tasteless, has given up on ageist jokes. Now that she is an older adult, she self-published This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism (2016) and EndAgeism site has link to her “Let’s end ageism” (2017) talk.

· “Promote intergenerational experiences: Create and participate in opportunities to get to know people of different ages—one of the best ways to learn about strengths and to learn about the diversity among older adults.”

SDA hosted film screening and discussion of “Maggie Growls” about founder Maggie Kuhn of Gray Panthers (formerly called Consultation of Older and Younger Adults for Social Change) and featuring Ralph Nader (my hero).

SafeHouse Executive Director Toni Eby (MSW classmate) with Glenda Hope greeting guests at opening celebration of SafeHouse’s Hope Center, named after SafeHouse founder Glenda Hope (now Cayuga Connector with Community Living Campaign). Based in the Tenderloin, Hope Center intends to be a healing space that provides supportive services to homeless women.

[In contrast, Safehouse is the name of the program developed by Tenderloin Senior Outreach Project (TSOP) nearly 40 years ago, when elderly residents of SRO hotels in Tenderloin’s “grey ghetto” recruited local businesses and agencies to serve as safehouses, or places of refuge where they could go in time of police or medical emergency.]

Valorie Villela and Marie Jobling, respective directors of On Lok’s 30^th Street Senior Center and Community Living Campaign, both partners in #endageismsf.